


Nurdes big bad lapidot week 2018 fics

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Lapidot Week, Lapidot Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-08 09:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lapidot week 2018 fics:Day 1 (uploaded a day late because i'm an idiot) = Peri spends to much time at workDay 2 (uploaded on time lol) = Peri and Lapis get lost in a big, fuck of woodsDay 3 (Brum) = PancakesDay 4 = I don't even knowDay 5 = Ain't it amazing how this started of shit and has still gotten worse as time's gone onDay 6 = (I have no Idea what I am doing) = Big IronDay 7 = We'll, meet again. Don't know where, Don't know ween. But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.





	1. Day 1: Recovery/Reunion (though I don't know if it's much of either, sorry)

 ‘Fuck, Lapis is going to kill me!’ A blonde-haired girl thought, speeding across the road at a speed nowhere close to acceptable, especially in storm that bad.

The window wipers worked with all their might to keep the glass clear of snow, though they did little against the flakes moving horizontally through the wind and air.

Now, Peridot was often a much safer driver, especially in weather this bad, but she was already 7 hours late home, she got lost in her work again, and she wanted, needed, to get home as fast as possible, lest she face her girlfriend’s raff.

To be fair to Lazuli, the woman had reason to worry. When they first became friends, peridot ended up in hospital, staying up a full 100 hours till she suffered a seizure.

She couldn’t help but chuckle, it was an awful event, but it led to lapis confessing her love, and peridot hers. Cut to 5 years later and here they both were, living together with their cute little ginger staff, pumpkin.

She couldn’t even be sneaky about her being late, she left her keys at home, she’d need to wake lapis up to get in

\---

‘I’m going to fucking kill her!’ A blue-haired girl thought, pacing around the apartment as she waited for her girlfriend to get home, several hours late, again!

‘and of tonight of all nights!’ her brain screamed in quite rage, looking down into her hand, and the small black box in it, and the ring in the box.

Her concentration was ripped from the box with a heavy nocking on the front door.

‘Their she fucking is!’

The blue haired women close to ripped the door of it’s hinges…and she froze

Peridot was at the door, soaked and shivering and with a look of sincere apology on her face. It broke lapis’s heart.

“I...I’m sorry lapis.”

“I know.”

She said, welcoming her girlfriend in.

“It won’t happen again”

“I know”

She said, bringing her girlfriend into her arms

“…I love you”

“I know”  
She said, pressing her lips against her girlfriends head.


	2. Day 2: Earth/Space (I did Earth fam, this one was easier than the first, because I could do literally anything and, as long as it was set on earth, I was fucking home free)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

Earth was a truly magnificent paradox. A world of freedom, yet with a natural order more oppressive than any government. A world of life and birth, all of which inevitably lead to death. A world of peace and prosperity, to the point it’s inhabitants built weapons of grand proportion to ensure said peace.

And Peridot had made it her mission to explore, study and understand every aspect of the contradiction. Which is how she (and her Barn mate, Lapis Lazuli) found themselves lost in the woods.

“NO! WE JUST PASSED THAT ROCK!”

The small green gem screamed with an unmatched rage, apparently directed towards the rock they had just passed (but really at her own ability to navigate), while lapis (as blue as the oceans she could control) followed behind her.

“Calm down Peri, we’ll find our way eventually.”

“WE DON’T HAVE ALL DAY LAPIS! IT’S GETTING DARK, WE NEED TO FIND SHELTER!”

“…Why?”

The blue gem wondered, neither of them needed sleep, the cold had no effect on them and no animals presented any threat to them.

The green gem pondered this question for a moment, her face turning from angry, to quizzical, to annoyed.

“BECAUSE…Because…because…BECAUSE WE NEED TO!”

The green gem yelled, stomping her feet and walking of in some random direction in search of a way out ~~and away from lapis.~~

The blue gem let out an annoyed sigh, following along behind Peridot as the green gem continued to grumble to herself.

\---

It was dark now, the moon high in the sky, and the gems still wandered, both annoyed and bored.

Lapis let out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge and clenching her fists.

“For Diamonds Sake Peridot! Can’t I just fly us out already.”

“NO! WE NEED TO FIND OUR WAY OUT THE RIGHT WAY!”

“BUT WHY?! WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO IT LIKE THAT!”

The two gems engaged.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE WE DO!”

Peridot yelled.

“PERIDOT!!!”

Lazuli yelled, louder than ever.

“WHY? I’m bored, your grumpy, so why can’t I just fly us out! Why are you being so STUBORN!”

“BECAUSE I WANT TO!”

The Green gem yelled back, while turning hers to Lapis, who sighed in a mixture of annoyance and disbelief, why did peridot have to be so ‘childish’ (as the humans said), she could fly them out in a second. But NO!!! She had to do it the ‘right’ way, complain when they get lost and start crying when Lapis finally got fed…up…

Peridot was crying…not much, but still noticeable crying.

The blue gem put her hand on the others shoulder.

“Peri…are you ok?”

The green gem looked back at the other, a small number of tears running from her eyes

“I…I…WHY CAN’T I DO IT!”

The green gem yelled, the floodgates of her eyes giving way!

Lapis hugged her girlfriend. Peridot was a proud gem, and when that pride was challenged she could quickly get like this.

“Shh…It’s ok. Don’t worry…I’ll get us home.”

“Bu-But, But I WANTED TO GET US BACK! I wanted t-to get us to the barn and-and-and you’d be impressed by my skills.”

Aw, she wanted to make it out to impress her.

“Oh peridot…You don’t need to impress me. I already love you more than I can even imagen.”

Lapis explained, giving her girlfriend a peck on the forehead, who had stopped crying. She was still sniffling, but not crying none the less.

“L-Lapis…can we go back to the barn now?”

“Sure. Want to watch come camp pining hearts when we do?”

The green gem nodded hear and clung (even harder) to lapis, who (After some adjustments to posture) shot up into the air, gaining a wide view of the forest and the horizon surrounding it, shooting of in the direction of the barn (following the river they had originally planned to follow before peridot had gotten distracted by a frog).

The view, as many would describe it, was beautiful, the moonlight reflecting of the river, the stars as clear and bright as the sun and all that, but to Lapis the only part of the scene worth anything was her cute little girlfriend, curled up and clinging to her for dear ‘life’, face buried in Lapis’s shoulder.

“Hey Peri!”

The green gem (slowly) moved her face to look up at peridot, a silent question planted on her face. A question answer with a peck on the lips from Lapis.

“Love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL


	3. Day 3: Magic/Tech (Magic, very short because I got caught up in cursed imaged and Drum)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

Peridot and lapis were making pancakes.

Simple enough, the two roommates-come-girlfriend, while not the best cooks, should be able to handle this…They really couldn’t.

Lapis had almost dropped the bowl while stirring, luckily peridot caught it.

Peridot had almost spilt all their milk on the floor, luckily lapis caught the liquid.

Half way through cooking they found out they had no chicken eggs, luckily Peridot found a recepie that used griffin eggs instead.

By the time they were ready to cook, they couldn’t get the grill to start, until lapis let out a spark of fire from her finger tips with a click of her fingers (A talent she was quite used to doing, due in no small part to how cute peridot was when annoyed, and it REALLY annoyed peridot).

By the time the pancakes were meant to be flipped, they found the pan far to sticky and heavy, until peridot started flipping with her mind.

It took much longer than it should for two witches to cook a bunch of pancakes, but they did it.

Lapis gave her small girlfriend a peck on the lips, they were both so proud of themselves.

Lapis sat down at their table, while Peridot put their pancakes on a plate, sprinkled in sugar and syrup and all that, walking over towards her hungry girlfriend (hungry for pancakes or peridot? Who knows.).

Then Peridot fumbled, their dog, pumpkin (the sweet little rascal they were) had left one of her toys on the floor, peridot managed to miss it in sight, but not physically, and nearly fell over. Luckily she managed to save herself, but sadly the pancakes had been dropped.

Lapis could not save then, neither could peridot.

They landed on the floor, the sugar and syrup soaking into the carpet.

…

“Fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL


	4. Day 4: Free Day (I don't even know anymore)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

“Hey peridot.” Lapis Lazuli, a tan Hawaiian girl called out to her small, pail girlfriend, Peridot.

“Yeah!” Her girlfriend yelled back to her, the small girl’s eyes glowing in joy and love towards her blue haired girlfriend.

“Is their something on my dress?”

“I’ll check.” Peridot answer, looking towards a spot, below her girlfriend’s hip, where her arm was leading to (likely pointing to she spot where the ‘thing’ should be on her dress).

Now, from a certain point of view, their was something on Lapis’ dress, more specifically her own hand, in the shape of an upside down ‘ok’ sign, or an O…and peridot had looked directly at it.

Before Peridot knew what hit her (that being lapis), her girlfriends fist connected with her arm, hard enough to have an impact but not hard enough to do any real damage.

“Thanks Peri, love you.” Lapis said, giving her girlfriend a peck on the cheek before walking away.

…

…Fucking Lapis.

Lapis let out a deep sigh, this was her moment.

She gave her drum a slap, and enough, starting of with a slow beat.

Bongos were always a small passion of Lapis, and this was her chance to prove her skills on them, picking up the beat, adding more power to her weak taps.

She continued, getting hard, more complicated, harder, more complicated.

She was reaching the end of her song, hands and face sweating from her concentration, her focus, her self imposed need for perfection. The world around her meant nothing, all that was, was her and her bongos.

The end had been reached, an explosion of heavy pats, fast pats and pure, orgasmic music.

“Lapis, could you, like, not?”

Her bongos, or the owner of her bongos, asked, in a tone of annoyance and embarrassment. Her girlfriend, lying on her stomach in front of their TV (playing some shooter game that her girlfriend was kicking ass at), her butt exposed, painted in spots of deep red slap marks.

“Thanks Peri, love you.” Lapis said, giving her girlfriend a peck on the cheek before walking away.

…

…Fucking Lapis.

“Hey Peridot.” Lapis asked peridot, who was currently wearing a cute green dress that very much overloaded the blue haired girls heart.

“Yeah Lapis?” The girl asked back, an heir of mistrust in her tone. Lapis had been feeling rather ‘cheeky’ today (Words straight from the blue haired devil’s mouth), Peridot could only be prepared for what she would do next.

“What’s that in your pocket?”

The small blonde’s hand wandered towards her pockets, finding a small lump of some description.

She decides to just get this over with, pulling the object out of her pocket to find a…box, a black box, a black ring box.

…What?

“OH MY GOD!” Lapis yelled, her face glowing with an obviously fake joy and…shyness.

…Wait.

“I WILL!”

…Wait a fucking minuet.

Peridot looked at her girlfriend, apparently ready to burst with joy, but Peridot knew that behind those glowing eyes was doubt, and fear and hope and many other emotions…and a question.

…

Peridot gave a nod, and Lapis’ mock joy turned to real joy, grabbing peridot and bringing her into a deep kiss.

…Fucking Lapis.

 

 

(butt bongos based on this https://usernamesarefornurdes.tumblr.com/post/172353929270/seifumeru-a-patreon-reward-human-lapidot , I can't get on the original account for whatever reason, So I hope this reblog of a reblog is good for yall.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL


	5. Day 5: Fear/Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

It was white, as white as white could be. White ground, white dust, white rock, nothing to see but white, and black.

The sky was black, little dots of white as well, but mostly black…except for one spot.

It was blue and green, her least and most favourite colours, and it stood over her, judging her.

She wanted to go back, that…thing, it meant a lot to her, or it had things on it that meant a lot to her...yeah, that was it.

She jumped to reach the colours…but she couldn’t reach.

She tried again, jumped higher, flapped wings she didn’t know she had till now…but she couldn’t reach.

She tried again…and again…and again, but she couldn’t reach.

She fell to her knees at some point and cried…she didn’t want to be in the white anymore.

She wanted to be with the colours, the green and pink and orange…Steven and Peridot and pumpkin!

She wanted to be with them on earth, but she couldn’t, she was stuck.

She cried, cried their names, cried for them to help, cried that she was sorry.

“PERIDOT!” “STEVEN!”

\---

“PERIDOT!”

Lapis yelled, shooting up from her nap (something she got accustomed to doing on the moon).

“Lapis! What’s wrong?”

Peridot asked, voice full of worry.

“I…I…”

“Lapis, it’s ok.”

“I…I…I Didn’t…I didn’t.”

The blue gem mumbled and sobbed, slightly shaken from her ‘dream’.

Peridot sat down next to the blue gem and hugged her.

“It’s ok Lapis. Don’t worry.”

“I…I was on the moon, and-and I couldn’t get back and I DON’T WANNA LEAVE AGAIN!”

The blue gem hugged back.

She didn’t want to leave again, she didn’t want to leave Steven, Peridot and pumpkin again.

“Shh…it’s ok. You’re here now.”

The blue gem had been oddly shaken from her time on the moon, she had wanted to come back, but she was to scared, scared of getting caught up in another war, scared of the diamonds who could strike at any second…and scared at the idea that she would stay if she did.

But now she was back, and she now feared the idea that she had never came back, that she was still sitting on the moon…and that she was still to scared to come back.

But when Peridot hugged her, or promised her everything was fine, it made her a little less scared.

And when Lapis hugged back, it made peridot a little less scared of her being a dream as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL


	6. Day 6: Musicals/Song-Inspired (I have no idea what I am doing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

(I don’t know what the fuck a song-inspired fic is, so here’s a fic based on ‘Big Iron’ by Martyn Robbins.)

To the small outpost of ‘Hometown’ rode a stranger one fine day. Tan and dark haired, dressed in what one would expect of a traveller, black shirt, Boot’s, pitched top ‘Boss of the Plains’ and all that…well except for their vest, which was a bright blue (Fancy)...and the big iron on her hip.

Stranger started looking round, finally finding the salon. Nice looking place…well, from the outside…and for a salon in some random town in the middle of the frontier. Inside, well, more average if anything. nothing special, except for the cute little blonde woman in the green dress behind the bar.

“Howdy stranger, haven’t seen you in town before. What’ll it be?”

The woman asked, nazily and high pitched.

“Whisky.”

The stranger answered back, in perfect dead-pan

“…Ain’t much of a hint.”

“Your best Whisky.”

The woman game a nod, walking towards a cabinet and pulling out a bottle and glass, filling it to the top and handing it to the stranger.

“So, what’s your name stranger?”

“Lapis, Lapis Lazuli.”

The stranger answered.

“Peridot.”

The blonde woman answered back.

“So, Lazuli, what brings you to Hometown? Staying a while?”

Lapis could here the town’s folk whispering behind her back, “She’s an outlaw, lose and running”, came a whisper from their lips, “She’s here to do some business with that big iron on her hip”.

“Nope, don’t plan to be to long in town. I’m a ranger, here to get some outlaw, alive or dead and shit.”

“…You mean…malachite?”

Now, this town, while appearing somewhat quiet, was far from it. An outlaw lived her, by the name of malachite, beast of a woman. The town often got strangers, either outlaws with grudges or men of law trying to snag malachite, but none of them ever made it out alive, the outlaw was talented with a gun, 20 notches on her gun for every poor fool had ever come after her.

“Does it matter?”

“YES IT MATTERS!” Peridot yelled, getting embarrassed when she realised she had…and that everyone in the building was now looking her.

“Yes it matters!” Peridot answer again, this time in a much less…aggressive tone. “20 men have already died going after her…20! She’s only been here to months!”

“And this strangers gonna’ be the 21st”

A woman interrupted, walking into the salon…Malachite.

“So, you the stranger everyone’s been talking about?”

“Yup.”

Lapis answer the outlaw, giving a lazy thumb up while finishing her drink.

“Well, let’s just get this over with.”

The two women left the salon…well, the entire salon left the salon. Everyone in town went into the street, ready to watch another beautiful stranger meet their death.

There was 40 feet between the woman, ready to make their play.

If the town had been paying to watch the duel, they would have demanded their money back. Lapis was quicker than any ranger that had came before, in singular moment a bullet had been logged into malachite’s right arm, and a moment later a second in her left, and in another moment another 2 in her skull. And in the next, the outlaw went limp onto the ground.

The town’s people were silent.

The stranger was silent.

Everyone was silent, for a moment.

\---

The whole town had gathered in the salon. Drinking to the stranger and the death of malachite.

“So, what now Lazuli?”

“going to collect bounty, bitch had a high price on her head.”

“…”

“You ok Peridot?”

“Yeah, just…you’re leaving now, right? Ain’t often someone comes to town and leaves living.”

“Ain’t often any town get’s a visit from the fastest hand in the west.”

“Yeah…”

“…We’ll, I suppose I could stay a few nights?”

“REALLY!” The small woman yelled again, this time even more embarrassed at the fact that only Lapis seemed to notice (Everyone else in Town being to drunk to care). She let out a cough and tried again.

“That sounds great!”

“Yeah. I can even give you a first-hand experience with the fastest hand in the west.”

Peridots face lit up like a tomato and she gave a (hard for her, soft for anyone else) punch to Lapis’s arm while said woman laughed at the others embarrassment.

“…Fuck you.”

“Aw, come on, calm down. I was just gonna show you my ‘Big Iron’”

“YOU’RE A GIRL, THAT JOKE DOESN’T EVEN WORK!”

Lapis doubled over in laughter, falling of her chair as the small woman threw a hissy-fit.

She stood up, after collecting herself and pecked the small woman on the forehead, seeming to turn her from a ball of range to a stuttering mess in an instant.

“Come on, it’s late, calm yourself. Could you help me find a room?”

“…Sure thing, Lazuli.”

It was many days latter when Lazuli left the town, and within a few days she rode back in again, and many days latter she left again, and within a few days she rode back in, and many days later she left…they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL


	7. Day 7: Guardian Angel/Watching Over (We'll, meet again, don't know when, don't know where. But I know we'll meet again some sunny day)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

The road was empty and quiet. Now, what wasn’t uncommon for where Peridot lived, not many cars parsed through, but she took notice of it while she walked home.

Not many of her ‘class mates’ lived near here, it was mostly old people, but a few did. Garnet, amethyst and pearl (3 sisters) lived here, as well as lapis.

Peridot found herself blushing at the though of Lapis, a deadpan punk want to be, always dressed in a leather jacket, bright blue hair and sarcastic to all hell. Peridot had ‘known’…we’ll, been in the same schools and classes as the girl, since as long as she could remember, and she remembered way back, and the butterflies she got in her stomach from the girl to.

In fact, she got so lost in remembering her 16 year long crush that she stopped paying attention to the road, and the car that, for the first time in her lifetime, was speeding down her road. She would have been splattered, if not for the harsh and sudden grab on the back of her collar, and the pull that followed, saving her life.

“You ok?”

Peridot knew that voice, it was lapis’ voice. She turned around, butterflies filling her stomach once again.

“…”

“…Well?”

OH SHIT! Yeah, um…Ok peridot, just act cool.

“Y-Yeah! I’m gooooood”

The girl let out in a mumbled scream. Covering her mouth with her hands and turning away in embarrassment after.

“…We’ll, ok I guess. Just, don’t try to get run over again.”

The blue haired woman answered back, walking away from the smaller, embarrassed mess of a girl.

“W…WAIT!”  
The shot woman screamed, again, to the back of the woman, who turned around to look at her again.

“Yeah?”

“…”

“…Yeah!?!”

“D-Do you think I could buy you coffee…for thanks?”

The blue haired woman let out a sigh, the blonde haired woman had an internal breakdown.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING! YOU FUCKING IDE-“

The blue haired woman handed her a piece of folded paper.

“My number, call me, when and where you want to thank me.”

“T…Thank you.”

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT WORK, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.

“…See ya dude.”

“W…Yeah, see ya.”

And with that, lapis kept walking away, leaving behind an even more broken, embarrassed mess of a girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memes LoL

**Author's Note:**

> Memes LoL


End file.
